scull and cross argyle The Chicago Urban Devils Golf Enthusiasts' League (CUDGEL) is a group of misguided Chicago youths interested in hitting balls with clubs.

How we roll

1. Each team must consist of one golfer and one caddy. Members of a team can switch roles whenever they see fit. Both members must be over 21. See? We're serious about that.

2. The course consists of 9 holes. Teams move through the course in waves. Scores will be reported every third hole.

3. Every stroke is a point. Because it's fucking golf.

4. Record scores accurately. Non-creative cheating will be punished.

5. Snakes on a plane, man. Snakes on a motherfucking plane.

6. Each lost ball is a two-stroke penalty. If you find your ball again, one point is deducted from your score.

7. The main streets are never, never, never in play. A ball hit into these streets is considered lost. It is, however, often quite easy to find again. Don't cause any traffic accidents.

8. Balls will be provided. Do not bring actual golf balls. Do bring actual golf clubs. Thrift stores are a cheap and easy place to find old clubs, as well as stylish urban golf attire. We do award random points for argyle. Double for argyle hot pants.

9. Patronize the local establishments and tip your bartenders.

10. Did we mention we give rewards for wearing argyle hot pants? Argyle hot pants, baby. Please. For the love of god, please.

11. Bring your cheerleading squad. All of 'em. The louder, the better.

Back 04.16.2006.